DHAKA: Break-ups are never easy. Whatever is the reason of the break-up; if it’s your decision then you should ensure it doesn’t turn into an ugly mess. While there is no good way to end a relationship, here are a few ways which can lessen the damage done.
Say it in a letter
Gone are the days when people depended on letters to be delivered at the right address to the right person. However, for situations like these especially when and if you’ve been in a long relationship and it didn’t go as planned, you could think of jotting down all about your feelings. The point is that you hand it over to them in person and if you are brave enough then read it out too. It’s a better option than a phone call or a text message or an email.
Have one last date
Depending on the severity of the break-up and the reason, you could choose to take your partner for a meal and have a serious discussion or treat it as the ‘last date.’ Inform your partner you have something to discuss over a meal. However, you should be thoughtful that your decision doesn’t come across as a sudden shock to your partner. This means that you need to have total control of the situation and ensure that you are not going to tear each other’s hair apart, at least in public. Keep in mind that both of you are not in any case under the influence of alcohol.
Give a break-up gift
It’s important to make an effort to avoid ending the relationship on a bitter note for the sake of respecting your relationship. Again, depending on the reason and how that influences your break-up, you could give out ‘sweet somethings’ to your now ex-lover. Do this while you confess to them about how this is not working for you. Present them with something special and pleasant, something which revolves around the ‘inside joke’ or something that simply leaves behind a sweet memory of you.
Have the talk
Address the reason directly and talk about why you are unhappy, and that this is the best solution you can think of, as of now. But don’t be insulting in anyway. Remember, if you are too angry then you should probably take some time off to cool down and analyze what and how you want to structure the break-up. Ensure you don’t blurt out clichés like, ‘Let’s be friends’ or ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Choose an appropriate place; don’t consider each other’s houses. You rather go for a walk by the beach or the park and have a straightforward and polite conversation. Also, don’t enforce your partner to stay friends. Let them have their space.
Send out a voice note
Ideally you should be doing anything to end things only personally, but if there is a long distance break-up on the cards, then send out a sensitive and genuine voice note to your partner. Express with honesty. The best part about sending out a recorded message is that they can hear it more than once and hear you out completely.
Meet a relationship therapist
If you’ve been fighting for a while and know that ‘it’s complicated’ then consider meeting in the presence of a relationship therapist. Let there be a witness to all your allegations, aggression and arguments. Sometimes a third person’s presence and intervention can make a difference and may just turn things around.
Parting ways is not easy but the least you can do is be responsible about. Choose a way that suits your personality along with the kind of equation you both shared.
BDST: 2033 HRS, OCT 21, 2014
