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Does marriage mean freedom for young women

Lifestyle Desk |
Update: 2015-07-28 06:15:00
Does marriage mean freedom for young women

Marriage is traditionally seen as a means of getting 'trapped', with many complaining about the loss of freedom.

But with changing times, and parents becoming more accepting of love marriages, there is a section of youngsters for whom getting married is a form of escape. Many , especially those in their early 20s, are ready to get hitched young so that they can be free to live their lives as they wish -away from their parent's well meaning, but misplaced protective, and sometimes suffocating, grasp.

Waiting to get married
I just wanted to get out of my house, says Preetha Ram, who married her boyfriend at the age of 24. She has been married for three years now and is very happy , as she now has a lot more freedom. I'm from a conservative family , but my friends were not, so, my social life was zero. My parents wouldn't like my friends coming over and I couldn't do a lot of things that I wanted to.
 
So, when I met my husband, it was like a big boost of freedom for me. A lot of people asked me why I got married at such a young age, but I was waiting to get married, she says, adding that moving out of her parental home was not an option before she got married. Now, she goes on long bike rides, parties and has drinking sessions at home with her husband and friends things that she couldn't do earlier.

A happy arrangement
Divya Rao's story is quite similar. Although her parents were not as strict as Preetha's, getting married was liberating for her. I agreed to an arranged marriage and tied the knot at 25. My husband works in the US, so I moved there. I was vary of the big life change, having lived in Bengaluru all my life, but getting married turned out to be one of my best decisions. My life is different now, because I have had a chance to grow up and have fun, without having to be answerable to anyone. My parents used to make all my decisions for me, but now, I lead life on my terms, she says.

Tackling the generation gap
The need to feel like an adult is why Aradhana Madhav wants to get married.Never an advocate of getting married before the age of 30, at 26, she's ready to settle down with her boyfriend, who she has known for several years.

I know that they mean well, but my parents can interfere in my life at times. I have to travel -sometimes at odd hours -thanks to my job, and it can get very distracting when I'm constantly hounded with calls from my mother. You can't live in the same house as your parents after a certain age, because times have changed, but the way they think hasn't. So, there is always a conflict between the two generations, she says, adding that getting married is an easier alternative to moving out. In India, moving out of your parents' house is considered a big no-no.

 Also, once you are a certain age, getting married is seen as your life's only purpose and parents don't treat you like an adult till you take that step. When I have arguments with my mother about going on trips with my friends, she always tells me that I can do whatever I like once I get married. So, many a times, a lot of people just succumb to it, mostly to finally live their lives the way they want. This is why , although I feel that I am young, I'm ready to get married.

BDST: 1615 HRS, JULY 28, 2015
Edited by:  Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor

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