While it was okay when she did that with her drawing, it was no joke when she started lying. What started as innocent little lies went on to become larger, much harmful ones. Says her mother Asha, Nitya would imagine shapes to clouds and weave stories around simple things. But, in her primary schooling, she would come back home with tall tales about how she always answered in her class and the teachers were proud of her. However, after a few months, she started complaining about how the same teachers shouted at her for small things. When I met her teachers at the PTA meeting, I found that no such thing had happened. My husband and I sat Nitya down and asked her why she lied. It turned out she didn't like me not spending a lot of time with her because of my new job. Children tend to start lying at a young age primarily because they have an active imagination and often lose themselves in their own fantasies. Also, they do not have a clear idea of what's right and what's wrong. what prompts kids to lie
All kids lie occasionally, but different reasons may prompt them to tell tales
- Toddlers may not know the difference between saying the truth and lying. This kind of lying is not harmful, but has to be monitored once the child is ready to go to school.
- Once at school, exposed to a new environment and many new faces, children lie to hide things that they have done wrong. They do so because they are scared of the consequences that will follow if they accept their fault.
- Lying is also linked to gaining attention amongst kids who feel neglected; showering love and telling them you trust them will help them get rid of the habit.
- Low self-esteem and insecurity leads to bragging, which too is a form of lying.
In an attempt to fit in with their peers, children cook up stories which their friends would want to listen to.
- Children also learn to lie when they see their parents do the same in their personal and professional lives. How do you deal with it
- Try to make them understand the difference between lies and fantasies from a small age. Listen to their tales, but after a certain age, help them differentiate facts from fiction.
- Tell them the story of Pinocchio, the wooden puppet who is used to telling lies and how his nose grows longer each time he does so. It is just a story, but through this, and other moral tales, you can make them understand that lying can lead to bad consequences.
- Many a times, parents tend to forgive little lies and laugh it over.
But, they must abstain from doing so because the habit of lying might increase without you coming to know of it.
- Make the child sit down and talk it over, ask himher why heshe is lying and what is it that stops himher from telling the truth.
- Always praise your child's positive behaviour and reward them for speaking the truth.
- Change your own behaviour if your child is picking up your habits of lying after noticing how you deal with situations. Lead them by example and remember that children learn best from parents.
Source: Times of India
BDST: 1649 HRS, AUG 30, 2015
Edited by: Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor
