Just like any mother, I am super protective about my daughter. And this motherly trait gets amplified, when the child is about to experience something new.

This is exactly what happened last year, when my tiny tot started nursery in a big school. I was overwhelmed for she managed to get through such a reputed school, but jittery at the same time. This was not her first exposure to the outside world but all said and done, play school was a child's play. I used to drop her inside the class, hang around with other mothers, did fun activities with her and if I ever missed out on any detail, the teacher's daily note in the diary was enough to keep me assured. But this was a different ball game altogether. It was a big school, where we were told that class teachers would prefer spending time productively with your kid than writing notes in the diary. It made sense but it sadly meant no more insights into the school life of my daughter.

Letting her slip into this big world, I was worried. In the first week, I called her class teacher to know how she was doing in the class and she sounded very happy. She told me how they were just making kids dance and sing all day to get them accustomed to the new environment. And she added my daughter showed a lot of interest. But the second week was different, I could see my daughter's resistance in going to school. She would cry and cry for hours to convince me to not let her go to school. It broke my heart.

I called the teacher again to check on her and was told that she's struggling in the class. She is not able to hold the pen properly. She doesn't colour or scribble, the words pierced through me. The teacher told me about ways to train her at home, but my daughter was not ready. She didn't want to do anything but stay with me. I was at a loss of words. I left my job, when she was born so I could be around her when she needed me the most, but now it all felt a waste. Despite being her mom, I failed to help her.

I started to dread the morning routine. Refusing to wake up, eat her breakfast, crying and sobbing was becoming our daily morning routine. I could sense that she was falling weak emotionally. The way I released myself from her tight grip at the bus stop killed me little everyday. And the way I am, instead of being her pillar of strength, I was breaking apart.

It is then that I decided to talk to the Headmistress. I wanted her to drop a class, much against my family's wish. In fact, the lady had recommended the same when we'd come for the nursery admission, but somehow we were convinced she was ready for nursery. How wrong we were! Anyhow, my daughter was moved to pre-nursery and I felt so relieved. Then followed days of people commenting how this demotion would impact her confidence. I disagreed. I wanted her to have another year to prepare for nursery. I didn't want her to go through the mental trauma of not being able to match up to her classmates. What could have impacted her more than this And, that's exactly what I did.

The year went by smooth. The PTA meetings suddenly felt so right with the teacher telling me my little one was doing really well in the class.

This year, she was promoted to nursery and somewhere inside those whales of emotions returned. But today, I burn them all aside. She is representing her school in an inter-school colouring competition. I feel immense pride leaving her in the classroom.

On my way out, I stopped to greet the Headmistress, Sujata ma'am and her words touched me deeply. She said, It is not important whether she wins or not. It's the participation that matters. This is what will help boost her confidence. I just smiled.

Source: Times of India

BDST: 1400 HRS, NOV- 19, 2015
Edited by:  Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor