The only place where `goals' look nice is probably on your resume. For, many parents vouch that setting objectives, both at home and office, is almost always pointless.Narendra Jain, a marketing manager and father of two, says, I convince myself that I need to achieve a specific target within two months, but I never manage to do that because my goals are influenced by external factors as well. In the end, I am left feeling dejected. Similarly , my wife and I vowed that we would potty train our twins by the time they are two. But we kept racing between our bedroom and the restroom till they turned four. Letting things take its own course is one of the parenting mantras we follow now.
BONUS, INCREMENT, BRIBES ARE GOOD MOTIVATORS
`Carrot and stick approach' works brilliantly well both with kids and at office. Rehana K, an HR professional, says, Just like how bonus and increment push staff to perform better, promise of extended playtime and a picnic over the weekend motivates my daughter to study and behave well. Bribery is a punishable offence, but all is fair in love, war and parenting.
CITATION AND WORDS OF APPRECIATION ARE LIFESAVERS
Encourage your child by appreciating accomplishments; this boosts their self esteem. Rehana adds, Your body language and tone matters a lot. If your son has tied the shoelace on his own, make sure you compliment him.Avoid making comments that belittle his efforts. An employee who is encouraged by way of citation and letter of appreciation is more likely to work harder than the one who has been reprimanded in front of his colleagues.
HEADS, I WIN, AND TAILS, YOU LOSE
It's okay to accede to your child's whims and fancies once in a while. But often, give them options such that they choose what you want. Sri Dixit, communication head with a reputed MNC, says, I learnt this trick from my boss, who casually told me I could either do the official tour I so hated with his team now or during the weekend when I had plans of celebrating my wedding anniversary . I now use this on my son, who is in Class IV, all the time. I give him a choice between doing his homework now or when his favourite cartoon is on. Either way , I accomplish what I intended to.
BE A ROLE MODEL
It's important for a boss to set a good example for their subordinates to follow. Similarly , kids learn by watching their parents.Rashmi says, If you lose your cool at the drop of a hat, your child will do the same. Children follow on their parents' footsteps. Be tolerant, soft-spoken, kind and selfless if you want your kid to be the same.
BE OPEN TO CHANGES
Flexibility and willingness to adapt and adjust your parenting style will make your journey much easier. Rehana says, The work environment at a new office will be different from the one at your old place. You need to be flexible to sail through smoothly . When my daughter was two, she would listen to everything I said, even though she wouldn't understand most of it. But now, she is eight and has formed her own opinions.So, instead of mollycoddling, I behave like an adult with her.We reason things out and choose what's best.
AT TIMES, IT'S OKAY TO CALL IT A DAY
Overworking and burning yourself out at your workplace will lead to no good. It's fine to just go home when you know things are going nowhere. Adapt the same policy with your kids as well.Rashmi adds, It's perfectly fine to give in to your child's tantrums, but only sometimes.If they insist on staying up late on weekend, tell them it's fine as long as they don't create a ruckus and finish their school work the next day. If they don't want to eat their spinach, give them a healthy alternative. Parenting is all about little compromises.
BE CREATIVE
Narendra says, My wife whips out these nice looking, interesting lunches every day so our twins gobble them up without making a fuss. She presents the dishes creatively, just like how we rack up our brains to present our ideas differently to our clients.
IT'S ALRIGHT TO FIB
While being transparent and honest are important for any relationship to survive, it's okay to lie sometimes. Gauri Manjrekar, a fashion consultant, says, I fib to my six-year-old son so that he drinks his glass of milk, comes with me for a medical checkup, goes to bed on time and doesn't OD on chocolates. I'm not being dishonest, I just say few harmless lies so we both can co-exist peacefully.
Source: Times of India
BDST: 1555 HRS, NOV- 22, 2015
Edited by: Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor
